Archive for the ‘Calm Moms’ Category

A Real Day in the Life of a Mom

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

If this article has not yet arrived in your inbox, Twitter feed, or on your Facebook page…..take a minute and read it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

I love it.  It perfectly captures what The Calm Mom is all about.

Being a mom is darn hard.  Yes, there are blissful moments in there and boy are they great, but a lot of the time it does feel like climbing Mount Everest.  Like today….when I had to get my dress-obsessed, pink-preferring, 6-year old into pants (because it was gym day) and head-to-toe blue and white (because it was school spirit day).  By the time I got her on the bus this morning, I felt like I had climbed Mount Everest and I was ready to go back to bed.

Here is something to think about, fellow Moms.  I think becoming a mom involves a little bit of mourning.  A little bit of getting over what we THOUGHT parenthood or our kids were going to be like and ACCEPTING what it really is like.  Parenthood is a million times harder than I would have ever thought.  And, my kids are really different from how I thought they would be.  I think problems come about because of negative thoughts (“It should be easier,” “I must be doing something wrong”) or because we try to change things that can’t be totally changed (“I wish I had a mellower kid,” “I wish my child wasn’t anxious,” “I wish my child wasn’t allergic to peanuts.”)  Most parents, and most kids, are trying their absolute best.  What we need to do is less changing and more accepting.  It is totally okay to see parenting as hard.  It is totally okay to feel disappointment about certain traits, behaviors, or problems that our kids bring to the table.  But, rather than trying constantly to push against….the question is….how can I take what I have been given and make things work most of the time for our family?

Drop me a line about your challenges.  What are you constantly trying to change in your family but finding frustrating instead?  Maybe we can shift from change to acceptance and find a better solution…..

Greed and the Holidays

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012

Hi Calm Moms….

Surprised to hear from me?  It’s been eons, I know.  I have been swamped with work, speaking and writing commitments, keeping up my home, and of course, being a mom to two busy kids (they are now 4 and 6!).  But, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to start up my blog again.  The more you all write in with questions and comments, the more inspired I will be :)

Here is what is on my mind today — how to tame “greediness” after the holiday season.

Apart from birthdays and the holiday season, we don’t tend to buy new toys for our kids.  They get new books on a continual basis (my obsession as much as theirs) and we keep available a steady stream of craft supplies which both kids love.  But, we have always tried to run errands to tempting stores like Target when they are in school and set ground rules before going places where we know there will be toys but where we don’t plan to buy them (for example, before going to the bookstore, we always say, “You can choose two books, but we are NOT buying toys”).

All of our best intentions about raising nice kids fly out the window at this time of year.  Our children get several little gifts from us during the holidays and they also receive so many gifts from both sides of the family that by yesterday, my den looked like a tornado had hit.  This morning, amidst all of this “stuff,” my daughter actually had the gall to ask (or actually beg) for something else she had seen over the break that she still really wants.  I almost bit her head off.  Calm, I was not.

But, really how can I blame her?  She has spent the past two weeks receiving at least one gift per day.  None of her wants have been denied.  It is hard to re-establish austerity measures in our house!

So, here are some thoughts:

Give to charity after Christmas: Before the holiday break, most schools, churches, temples, and workplaces collect toys for needy kids.  We had some unused toys put away and had the kids select some to give to these various collection sites.  Although I plan to do this again in upcoming years so that needy kids can get gifts for the holidays, I am going to have the kids do another round of collection this weekend.  Because they have so many new things to play with, I am going to ask them to choose a few toys they have outgrown to give to kids who got less than them for the holidays.

Start teaching kids the value of money: I am not sure the “right” age to start doing this, but my kids are 4 and 6 and the time seems ripe.  Before the holidays, I started a chart at home to work on some specific behaviors.  For each five points, the kids got one dollar to spend.  My six year old daughter really wanted a new Dr. Seuss book.  She worked so hard on her points and was amazed to learn after three weeks, that she had enough points to buy only 1/3 of her book!  What an eye-opener.  For kids of this age, it is important to give “in between” rewards so that they don’t lose faith and interest in their reward system.  For example, after five points, you can have a child choose what the family will have for dinner one night, or be the one to select the movie on family movie night.  But, there is nothing wrong with giving a child a longer term project to work on to start getting a sense of the relationship between hard work and money.

Get back to routine: For any of you who have read The Calm Mom blog before, you know I love routines.  I know we have all been off routine during the holidays.  My sister told me last night that her kids have been going to bed at 10:30 PM and waking up at 9 AM (they are 5 and 8!).  My kids have received too many gifts and maybe become a little wee bit greedy.  We can all get back on routine.  Even if kids give us pressure, remember, they like the familiarity and comfort of routine.  Gifts will be more treasured if they come only a few times a year!

What have you done to counter-act holiday greed?  Please tell us here!!!

Family Meals – Some Collected Clever Ideas

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Thanks, fellow Calm Moms, for all the interesting feedback on yesterday’s post about Family Meals (please make sure to post feedback on the Calm Mom Facebook page or on the blog so that everyone can see!).  As a follow up, I wanted to share some ideas for Family Meals.  A few months back, one of my friends surveyed a whole bunch of fellow moms about what we can cook for dinner that everyone will eat without parental cajoling or child complaining.  I wanted to share this helpful list with you (and add a few tips and favorite recipes of my own).  Please post your suggestions of what has worked for your family:

-Taco night – some families use the usual ground beef, some prefer ground chicken.  One mom suggested using just half the seasoning pack included in taco kits so that the meat is not too spicy for kids.  In general, kids love “making their own” and tacos fit the bill.  Lay out all the possible fillings — cheese, lettuce, tomato, guacamole, salsa, sour cream, beans and let the kids go to town!  I have found that my kids aren’t wild about crunchy taco shells and they are also really messy for three-year-old boys, so we do a quesadilla or fajiita night using flour tortillas.  In my house, I make each child a cheese quesadilla and then they can help themselves to the various toppings as they please.

-Chicken soup – again, the appeal here is that you can kind of “make your own”.  Buy or make the chicken soup with egg noodles, bits of chicken, thinly sliced carrots and other veggies, and if you are so inclined, matzo balls.  You might have one kid that eats clear chicken soup with egg noodles for dinner and another who prefers a bowl with everything in it — but the idea is that everyone can be happy!   Serve with some nice crusty bread!

-Meatballs – When my friend collected these useful ideas, many people wrote in about their love for the meatball, especially prepared meatballs (like from Trader Jo’s) that can be whipped up quickly at the end of the day.  Of course, meatballs go beautifully with pasta and give kids a little dose of protein.  Meatballs can also go into a fun sandwich with sauce and melted cheese.  Other parents suggested mashing up the meatballs and putting them into already adored foods like quesadillas and grilled cheese.

-Rotisserie or roasted chicken: Roast chicken can be a super family food.  Supermarket ones are generally good, but very salty.  For people concerned about sodium, try roasting your own – it is amazing how easy it is even for people who do not consider themselves good cooks (try this Martha Stewart recipe!).  When carefully carved, the chicken has very little “ick” factor for little ones.  We serve it with some delicious dipping sauce (for all your Canadians out there, I bring home Swiss Chalet chicken sauce after every trip home and my kids love it).  As a leftover, roast chicken can be turned into a nice Asian stir-fry or a fun pasta recipe.

-Make Your Own Sandwich Night: Again, we come back to the “make your own” theme.  We put out deli meats, fresh rolls, veggies and various toppings and everyone gets something they enjoy.  Another mom in my friend’s survey mentioned hummus sandwiches.  Her general idea was to take a food her kids already liked and try to grow it into a whole, healthy meal.  I like that idea!  Another riff on sandwiches in my house is Panini night.  I give the kids some choice on filling but don’t feel badly about it because I am basically cooking one thing for everyone.

-From the freezer section: In my friend’s survey, moms suggested pirogues, fish sticks, spinach rolls, various Asian dumplings, and pigs in blankets (hot dogs wrapped in Crescent rolls).

-Homemade Chinese Food Night: Make some plain noodles, make some plain veggies, make some bits of chicken or meat or shrimp with a yummy sauce, make some extra of said sauce (that the raw chicken or meat has not been swimming in) and place everything on table.  Let each family member make their own little Chinese food plate, including garnishes like peanuts or lime wedges (Chinese food purists, I know this is not actually Chinese…but it works!).

-Breakfast for Dinner: In my friend’s survey, many people mentioned making breakfast for dinner – pancakes, waffles, bacon or sausage, omelets, hash browns, etc.  My kids asked just this morning if we can have bagels and cream cheese for dinner.  Why not?  Add in some smoked salmon (many kids like it!), some slices of tomato, and a fruit salad and you have a pretty nice and easy meal for the end of a workday.

-The Ubiquitous Chicken Nuggets: Do you know any children who do not like chicken nuggets?  I don’t.  So, here are my thoughts on the issue.  I buy two brands of nuggets, both of which are made only with breast meat, white chicken.  I do not buy the kind that are made of mushed up rib and other meats.  I do this for two reasons.  First, I have read that the texture of those mushy nuggets encourages overeating because they are so easy to chew and swallow.  I want the kids to experience the “mouth feel” of real chicken under that appealing breading.  Second, I integrate nuggets into our family meal so I buy two brands that are low in fat (relatively) and tasty to adults.  On nugget night, I make a huge salad for my husband and me.  We eat our salads with a nugget or two sliced on top; the kids eat theirs with their ketchup and preferred veggie.  A more gourmet version, and a meal we all love (shocking!), is Chicken Schnitzel.  I follow Thomas Keller’s recipe of French Laundry fame and it is so amazing, you could easily serve it at a dinner party.

-Pasta, pasta, pasta: My daughter could eat plain pasta with fancy parmesan cheese every night for dinner.  The rest of us, however, might go mad.  So, as she nibbles on her favorite meal, the rest of us might have spaghetti and meatballs; pasta with any sort of roast veggie that is in season with a bit of ricotta or goat cheese; pasta with homemade pesto (the kids tried it and loved it last summer after watering the basil all summer, picking it themselves and then helping me whip it up in the Cuisinart); etc.  Some families in my friend’s surveyed mentioned lasagna as another successful family meal.

What do you cook that your whole family enjoys?  Please post your ideas here!

Inoculating Yourself Against Your Kids’ Bad Moods

Friday, November 5th, 2010

I am a huge fan of Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and the Happiness Project blog (the only blog I regularly read besides The Calm Mom!).  I encourage all of you to check out Gretchen’s fantastic words of wisdom!

This week, Gretchen wrote about how kids affect their parents’ mood.  She described a day when her 5 year old woke up on the wrong side of the bed and, in her words, “by the end of the day, all four of us were in very crabby moods.”  She goes on to post this question:

“How do I maintain my emotional self-sufficiency while also staying very engaged with the people around me? (Or, put another way, am I so shallow that a five-year-old’s whining can ruin my day?)”

Ah, Gretchen, I can relate!  I, too, live with a five year old and yes, her moods can color my day from our very first interaction in the morning.  So, the question got me thinking….and made me come up with some good tips for all of us to try:

-Think about biology: When kids wake up in a foul mood, sometimes it boils down to basic biology.  Did they get enough sleep?  Are they starving?  Have we started chatting to them before they have had a chance to even go pee (I am guilty of this one!)?  Could they be feeling under the weather?  I have found that on moody mornings, my daughter often has an extra bowl of cheerios and is like a changed person!  Be mindful of these factors, and adjust accordingly.  Everyone else might be putting their 5-year old to bed at 10 PM, but if your kid is a 7-o’clocker, stick to it religiously!

-Don’t get too involved: Some moms and dads spend a lot of time with their kids trying to figure out where the bad mood came from (otherwise known as talking about feelings).  Yes, I am psychologist, but I don’t think this is always a good idea.  For very young kids, they generally are not going to know.  They just feel grumpy.  The more attention you give to the grumpiness, the longer they will stay grumpy and the more often they will get grumpy.  Because, as we all know, kids love attention.  Instead….

-Try humor: For little kids, it can be fun to give this problem a name, like Mr. Grumpy.  “Gee, it seems like Mr. Grumpy has come for a visit today.  He is SUCH A PAIN!”  Then, ask your child, “What can we do to send him packing?”  Kids often have very good ideas about how to feel better.  On a weekend morning, for example, a child might choose to stay in bed a bit longer and look at some books.  This is not punishment…it is an opportunity to get into a better mood and enjoy the upcoming day.

-Change the Channel in the Brain: Little kids love this one.   Parents can say, “Ugh, it seems like your brain is stuck on the grumpy channel today.  Can we change the channel in your brain to a channel that is more fun?”  The general idea is to get busy with something else that propels kids out of their bad mood.  Good activities are: helping with household tasks, doing art, looking at books, playing with toys, watching a show, going outside to run around, etc. 

-Don’t let the bad mood determine the family’s behavior: When our kids wake up in bad moods, the inclination is to call off the plans!  “We were supposed to go to the zoo today, but I don’t want to go with a little grump-pot.”  Admit it, we’ve all said it!  Keeping with that same spirit of not paying too much attention to Mr. Grumpy, go on with your day.  When the whole family gets busy with a fun activity, your child will be more likely to be jarred out of a bad mood. 

-If all else fails, change the channel in your own brain:  We have all had those days when NOTHING works….I know, I’ve been there.  As a parent, it is then our job to change the channel in our own brains.  We can choose to stay focused on the little drama queen or king residing in our house, or get busy with something else.  Remember that doing nothing for the grumpy child is OKAY…sometimes there is nothing to do.  Modeling calmness yourself, by grabbing a book to read or going to do some baking or heading out for a run, shows a good example to your kids.

Let me know what you do when your kids are in a grumpy mood!  Post your comments here!

Sign up for The Calm Mom blog!  Click on “subscribe to blog” on the right side of the blog page.  There are many ways to receive the blog.  If you want to receive it by email, click on the tab that says “email” and then immediately on the tab that says “feedblitz”.  This will take you to a page to enter your email address.

My book, Becoming a Calm Mom, is now available at Target.com.  If you read the book and loved it, please write a reviewOr, if you are ordering a baby gift from Target for a friend, please add in a copy!

In Her Shoes: Learn to See Kid Behavior From Kids’ Point of View

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

I am setting myself a resolution for November and hope you, my fellow Calm Moms, will join me.

I am going to work harder on understanding my kids’ behavior from their point of view, rather than from my own grown-up point of view (for moms of babies, check out a previous post on understanding baby behavior from baby’s point of view).

Here’s an example.  On Halloween, we attended a party with 30+ children, all five years old and younger.  As we set out for trick or treating (in a pack of these aforementioned 30 children), I noticed a lot of pushing and shoving and rudeness from my five year old daughter.  Several times, I pulled her aside and asked her to be more respectful of her friends.  “Please,” I said, “Stop pushing, shoving and snarling at your friends.  It’s not nice.”  Needless to say, I got some snarls in return!

The next morning, I was telling my very wise mom about the evening.  She said, “That sounds like the most ridiculous plan….who would attempt to trick or treat for 30 small children?”  I took a step back and thought it over.  It was certainly fun for all of us moms and dads.  But, for the kids?  They worried about whether there would be enough candy, they wanted to be the “line leader”, they were tired and felt irritated by the intrusion in their personal space as all the friends gathered on tiny front porches.

What did I expect???  Perhaps it would have been MORE concerning if my daughter had hung back, not caring about the same things (getting candy, being first, having space) as all the other kids. 

In other words, she behaved like a normal 5 year old, given the demands of the situation.

My problem (I am being honest here!) is that I forget to consider my kids’ point of view when we are in difficult situations.  I just get frustrated if they are not behaving like the little angels they are most of the time!

So, here is my plan.  When I feel myself getting frustrated, I am going to cue an image of a “SHOE” in my head.  This is going to remind me — stand in their shoes, consider what THEY are thinking and feeling right now, and….react accordingly.

I will fill you in on how my plan is going.  And please, leave your tips on how you handle challenging situations with your little ones.

Sign up for The Calm Mom blog!  Click on “subscribe to blog” on the right side of the blog page.  There are many ways to receive the blog.  If you want to receive it by email, click on the tab that says “email” and then immediately on the tab that says “feedblitz”.  This will take you to a page to enter your email address.

My book, Becoming a Calm Mom, is now available at Target.com.  If you read the book and loved it, please write a reviewOr, if you are ordering a baby gift from Target for a friend, please add in a copy!

Babies and iPhones: Is Calm Always Good?

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Sunday’s New York Times Style Section included a fascinating article entitled, “Toddlers’ Favorite Toy: The iPhone”.  The article, well-written by Hilary Stout, wrote about how parents are using their iPhones to soothe and entertain their very young babies and toddlers.

The very next day, I was out to lunch with a dear friend and her 19-month old baby.  As our lunch drew to a close, and the little guy got fussy, out came the iPhone.  My friend turned on Elmo, the baby got a glazed, calm look on his face…and it bought us 15 more minutes for our girls lunch.  I saw the magic in action!

So, okay Moms…I’ll give you this.  The iPhone is going to work to soothe and entertain pretty much any darn kid on the planet.  As one of my favorite child psychologists, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek said  in the article, “This is a magical phone…I must admit I’m addicted to this phone.”

But, does the calming effect outweigh the problems?

Here are the Calm Mom’s thoughts:

-Relying on an iPhone denies kids the opportunity to learn self-regulation & self-soothing skills: Babies have been around for way longer than iPhones.  A very important part of child development is learning to self-soothe.  For very little babies, this might mean sucking on fingers or a pacifier or holding on to a blankie or stuffed friend.  For toddlers, this means playing with a toy or chatting to oneself or looking around at one’s environment.  These skills are essential for the rest of our lives!  We need to learn how to be present with ourselves without relying on technology to get us through the day.  I was amazed to read in the article about the mom who gave her child an iPhone on their 15 minute drive to school each day.  What about looking out the window?  Listening to music?  Singing?  Or, glory forbid, actually TALKING?  Beware moms who rely on technology — it only works when it is THERE.  What will happen to these iPhone dependent babies when they need to soothe themselves to sleep at night, or when Mom needs the iPhone to make a work call, or when the iPhone is accidentally left at home before a long outing?  Sounds like a disaster to me… 

-We don’t know what technology does to very young brains: There is a lot of exciting research going on about the effect of technology on our brains.  We certainly don’t know the impact yet, and I would guess the least attention is being paid to the under 3-year old set (who scientists would not imagine would be great users of techology).  I am compelled, however, by Dr. Hirsh-Pasek’s comment about the addictive quality of the iPhone.  There is evidence that getting a ping of a new email message or Facebook post releases neurotransmitters in our brains (admit it, you have seen the addictive properties in your own lives, Moms!).  These days, parents worry about feeding their babies non-organic foods or letting their kids eat Halloween candy that contains food coloring. Come on moms, let’s give some thought to our kids’ brains!  Maybe we are all worrying about the wrong things?

-Boundaries: Allowing your baby to play with your $300 iPhone communicates to your baby “what is mine, is yours.”  Do you let your baby eat off your good china?  Do you allow your three year old daughter to wear your cashmere sweaters?  Go to the ATM and take out some spending money?  No, because these are adult things.  Children actually feel safer if they know there is a boundary between the adult world (i.e., things they don’t need to worry or think about) and the child’s world.  Furthermore, not having everything by the time you are three gives you something to look forward to when you are 30.

-Don’t put yourself in failure situations: It seems that parents pull out technology in situations that simply aren’t suitable to very little kids.  We let our kids watch their portable DVD players on airplanes and on long car trips (over two hours) because we recognize these are unnatural situations for kids who like to move around and play.  If you are pulling out the technology on a daily basis, it is worth asking yourself, “Am I putting my child in too many child un-friendly situations?”  If so, the problem is not the technology per se, it is the life you are setting up for your child.  As an example, if parents take their one-year old to dinner every Saturday night because they want a “date night” but are nervous about getting a babysitter, it might be a better idea to work on getting used to having a babysitter than to have their child sit for several hours, being entertained by a very small phone!

What are your views on this important issue?  Weigh in here by leaving your comments!

Dads on Board: How to Involve Dads with New Babies

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Does this sound familiar?

Dad gets home from a day of work.  You (mom) have spent all day nursing/feeding, changing poopie diapers, soothing away tears, and chatting, singing, and doing silly things for a little lump of love who responds with little more than a smile (if you’re lucky)!  After all your efforts, you hand baby over to get your first breather of the day….only to see Dad click on SportsCenter and grab a beer with baby dangling precariously from his lap.

This scenario makes many moms fume!  This is not quality dad/baby time!  It is inevitable that moms start comparing dads’ efforts to their own and deciding that the man of the house simply does not measure up.

Here are a few thoughts. 

-Be careful of criticism: When you criticize your spouse (so easy to do when you are sleep deprived), it is quite possible he will bow out completely.  In his mind, he is spending “quality time” with his baby.  If you criticize, he might choose to go watch the game at the local sports bar with his buddies and then there really won’t be any bonding time (or break for you) at all. 

-Think about what babies need: Child development experts, close your eyes on this one!  Very young babies need….very little.  They need milk/formula, clean diapers, lots of rest, some stimulation, fresh air, and LOTS OF LOVE.  If you have spent your day providing some stimulation and some fresh air and lots of love, there is probably nothing terribly wrong with dad having a cuddle in front of the game (again, we’re talking very little babies here, not three year olds who would rather be playing, talking, throwing an actual ball around, etc.).  One thing I might add to this scenario to make it more stimulating and interactive for the baby is some chit-chat.  Dads often are at a loss for how to interact with very little babies.  Let them know that babies LOVE to hear the sounds of their parents’ voices.  So, Dads…if you are having a snuggle during the Phillies game (shameless plug for my team, sorry!), chat about what is happening during the game.  Tell Junior or your little Princess about the players’ names, their numbers, what positions they play, etc.  When parents talk to babies, they get a response in return…smiles, giggles, eye contact and this is when bonding really starts to happen.  Before you know it, your hubby will be initiating more and more quality interactions with his new little bundle of joy.

-Make a plan for dad and baby: Again, I think a lot of men don’t know what to DO with new babies.  Most high school boys don’t babysit and aren’t socialized to help out with babies at family parties.  A great way to get dad out of the “sports, beer, baby in front of the TV” routine is to make a plan for dad and baby.  Using your best communication skills, discuss this idea with your spouse.  Decide together on an activity that dad and baby can do on a weekend morning.  For example, dad and baby can take a music class or movement class.  When there is a time commitment and financial commitment, people are more willing to keep up a routine.  And, when they head out for their quality dad and baby time, you can sleep in or do something special for yourself like take a yoga or exercise class or anything that keeps you in touch with the person you were before having kids! 

Sign up for The Calm Mom blog!  Click on “subscribe to blog” on the right side of the blog page.  There are many ways to receive the blog.  If you want to receive it by email, click on the tab that says “email” and then immediately on the tab that says “feedblitz”.  This will take you to a page to enter your email address.

My book, Becoming a Calm Mom, is now available at Target.com.  If you read the book and loved it, please write a reviewOr, if you are ordering a baby gift from Target for a friend, please add in a copy!

Welcome to the New CalmMom.com

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

One of my favorite reads this summer was “Heart of the Matter” by Emily Giffin.  One quote in her book perfectly captures the purpose of TheCalmMom.com:

“There is nothing so despair-provoking as thinking you’re the only one who feels a certain way, especially when it comes to matters of motherhood — and correspondingly, nothing more comforting than knowing you’re not alone.”

Rest assured, with TheCalmMom.com, you will never feel alone again.  TheCalmMom.com covers it all — the good and the not-so-good of motherhood.  It tells it like it is and offers simple strategies for dealing more effectively with the stresses that so commonly affect new moms. 

For those of you who have visited TheCalmMom.com in the past, you’ll see some changes on the site — a new look, more organized archives, an updated “In the News” section, and most importantly, this new blog! 

New moms, join in on the fun!  By signing up for our new blog (and also following us on Facebook and Twitter), you will learn simple strategies for finding calm in your own life and in your relationships, and for raising Calm Babies and Calm Kids. 

To all of you moms out there, please post your comments.  The more we share, the more we learn!  Thanks, and welcome to the new CalmMom.com.

New Moms and Their Friends – Calm Mom Tip #6 for resisting The Mommy Olympics: Take All Information with a Grain of Salt.

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

On the subject of friends, it is important to point out that the information or experiences that new moms share with one another can get misinterpreted as competitive. When a mom says, “I love breastfeeding” she might not mean to put down a fellow mom who feeds her baby with formula. She might simply be sharing her experiences. There is a big difference between a mom saying, “I love breastfeeding” versus “I love breastfeeding and I think it’s horrendous to not feed your child in this way!” If new moms are feeling on shaky ground in their new role and doubting their own skills, abilities, or choices they should be aware that they might be prone to misinterpret information and make it fit their own distorted mindset.

Moms and Mood – Calm Mom Tip #6: Seek Some Help.

Saturday, May 22nd, 2010

It is totally normal for new moms to feel irritable to even lose their temper from time to time. However, if you are losing your temper regularly or feel at risk of harming your baby, you must get help as soon as possible. A great place to start is with your obstetrician. Call and ask for names of mental health professionals in your area who regularly work with new moms. Here are some other helpful resources for finding a therapist in your area:

American Psychological Association Psychologist Locator

Psychology Today, The Therapy Directory

Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, Find a Therapist