Happy Mother’s Day to all you first
time moms! What’s the best way to
celebrate this momentous day? Yes,
flowers and breakfast in bed are super.
But, consider these other ways to
celebrate YOU!
Give yourself a pat on the
back: Being a Mom is the
hardest job in the world. So,
take a minute this Mother’s Day
to reflect on all that you have
learned and accomplished since
this time last year. This might
include acquiring new skills,
like changing diapers and
bathing slippery little ones. It
might include growth in your
personality and abilities, like
becoming more patient or more
able to multi-task. It might
simply mean taking a moment to
gaze at your baby and really
appreciate how extraordinary it
is to bring a baby into the
world and raise it to be a
happy, healthy, and successful
human being!
Do something memorable:
Day-to-day life with a baby can
become pretty routine – feeding,
naps, playtime, and lots of
diaper changes. On this, your
first Mother’s Day, break out of
your routine and plan an
activity that will be truly
memorable. Perhaps you and your
little one can do something
together for the first time.
Strap your baby into a baby
carrier and go for a walk on the
beach or for a hike in a
beautiful place. You will be
able to tell your little one for
years to come: “The first time
we went to the beach was on my
first Mother’s Day”. Another
great idea is to go to the Mall
and have some Mom and baby
photos taken. Or, make hand
prints of you and your little
one in clay or with paint on
cardstock paper. It will always
be fun to look back at how tiny
your little one’s hands were on
your first Mother’s Day.
Do your favorite things:
We all have some things about
being a mom that we love, and
other things we love well, less
so! Try to fill your day with
your favorite mom activities.
And, arrange with your spouse to
have a day off from your least
favorite things! Perhaps you get
to enjoy the cheerful playtime
and the daytime feedings. And,
your spouse can do the soothing
during cranky times, the 4 AM
feeding, and the clean-up of the
diaper explosion!
In the midst of celebrating your
first year as a Mom, it is not unusual
to feel some wistfulness for your life
pre-baby. As we often say at
TheCalmMom.com, motherhood is
associated with a whole range of
emotions and it is totally fine to
experience all of them– good and not so
good. This month is a great time to give
some thought to how you can incorporate
some of the “old” you into your new life
as Mom.
Brainstorm: Sometime this
month, take some time for
yourself. Go out for a long
walk; go to a nice spot and have
a peaceful, slow lunch; go have
a massage or a manicure. And,
think. What do you miss about
your life pre-baby? Is there a
part of your pre-mommy self that
is missing? Make some notes
during your brainstorming
session. And, as a Mother’s Day
gift to yourself, pledge that
you will incorporate at least
one item on your list into your
new life as mom.
Prioritize: It is
unrealistic to think that you
will be able to continue to do
all of your favorite pre-baby
activities. But, which one do
you miss the most? Try to make
this one activity a part of your
post-baby life. A lot of moms
find that the thing they miss
the most about their pre-baby
life is simply not realistic to
do anymore (i.e., skydiving,
spending every cent of your
paycheck on fancy shoes). If
this is the case, find an item
on your list that you miss a lot
and that is realistic given your
current roles and
responsibilities.
Get rid of the guilt:
Give some thought to why you
have given up all of your
favorite pre-baby pursuits. Do
you feel guilty doing anything
for yourself? Well, get rid of
the guilt. Moms who feel
satisfied with their lives will
undoubtedly be calmer, better
moms. This does not mean leaving
your children for weeks at a
time to gallivant around Europe.
It might simply mean going out
for dinner with your girlfriends
or having date night with your
husband once a month.
Figure out ways to do
satisfying things with your baby
in tow. New moms often feel
as if their entire day must
revolve around baby-friendly
activities. Yes, playing,
reading, walks, music classes
and playdates are great. But,
think outside the box. How can
you involve your baby in some
activities that might really,
truly, secretly be just for YOU?
Here are some ideas (see our
Resources page for links):
Do you miss
exercising? Find an
exercise class in your
area to which you can
bring your little one.
Invest in a jogging
stroller so that you can
hit the pavement with
your baby in tow. Buy
some great exercise or
yoga DVDs and have your
baby do his tummy time
while you work on
reducing your
post-pregnancy tummy!
Do you miss cultural
events? Join a group
like Metropolitan Moms
that involves taking
your baby with you to
explore cultural and
historic sites in your
city. Or, create your
own program with some
fellow new mom friends.
Is there a great exhibit
at the art museum? Strap
on your baby carrier and
take your little one
along. A fun concert in
the park? Ditto. Many
activities like these
that might at first seem
“selfish” might actually
be quite enjoyable for
your baby too.
Do you miss seeing
movies? Many local
theaters allow new moms
to bring their babies
along to afternoon
matinees.
Do you miss travel?
Stay tuned to
TheCalmMom.com for
more advice on travel
with babies next month!
Do you have advice on
how to incorporate baby
into activities that you
find enjoyable?
Please
email
and we will post
suggestions from our
members!
There is a lot to worry about as a new
mom. How do I get my baby to sleep
through the night? When should I
introduce solid foods? How can I know if
my childcare arrangements are of the
highest quality? As if these worries
were not enough, serious concerns have
now arisen about the safety of plastic
baby bottles. In fact, in April 2008,
the Canadian government removed all
plastic baby bottles from the shelves of
stores across the country. This
seemingly drastic move would make even
the calmest mom stand up and take
notice!
TheCalmMom.com is not a scientific
website. Its goal is to help new moms
effectively manage the inevitable
challenges associated with being a new
mom. One way to accomplish this goal is
to help new moms learn the facts (rather
than the gossip). So, let’s begin there
Very briefly, the chemical that is
causing concern is called bisphenol A
(for a fact sheet on this chemical
click here). Bisphenol A is found in
several places, but is particularly
relevant to babies for two reasons: (1)
Bisphenol A is found in baby bottles
made of polycarbonate and (2) Bisphenol
A is also used in the linings of cans of
formula. It is thought that the chemical
can leach out into liquids when baby
bottles are heated and into formula as
it comes into contact with the lining of
the can. It is possible that high levels
of exposure to this chemical during
infancy can cause a range of health
problems later in life.
The other way that
TheCalmMom.com helps new moms is by
helping you to challenge your anxious
thoughts about the challenges of
motherhood. So, let’s consider some
thoughts that new moms might have about
this issue and how to deal with them:
“I’ve
already done irreparable harm to
my baby by using plastic baby
bottles” – Before you convince
yourself that you have
irreparably harmed your little
one, take a closer look at the
science. There have been no
controlled studies of bisphenol
A in humans. Right now, all that
we know is that this chemical
causes detrimental effects in
fish and other organisms. It is
reasonable for new moms to try
to stay abreast of the latest
news on this topic, but it
should not become an obsession.
Try to focus instead on safety
issues that have very clear
scientific backing, like
protecting your little one from
second-hand smoke and from the
hot summer sun.
“If I don’t pitch all my bottles
and buy new ones, people will
think I am a terrible mother” –
Until the science becomes
clearer, deciding whether to
replace all of your existing
baby bottles with ones that are
bisphenol A-free is a personal
decision and is not at all
reflective of your skill as a
mom or your love for your child.
There are ways to continue using
your existing bottles, while
reducing risk of exposure to
bisphenol A. The risk of the
chemical leaching out of bottles
is highest under conditions of
extreme heat. So, if you need to
boil water before making
formula, let it cool in a safe
(e.g., glass) vessel before
transferring to plastic bottles.
And, never heat bottles in the
microwave – not only for this
reason but also to prevent
dangerous burns.
“Finances are really tight now,
but it would be selfish of me to
not replace our bottles” –
Finances are tight for many
people now with the high cost of
gas and food. Furthermore, the
new bisphenol A-free bottles are
much more expensive than bottles
made with bisphenol A. If
replacing your bottles is going
to place unreasonable financial
strain on your family, hold off
for now and use your existing
bottles safely, as suggested
above. Or, perhaps purchase just
a few new bottles. You don’t
need 20. While it might be a
pain to wash bottles immediately
after feedings, even two new
bottles can suffice if you think
that making this change is
important.
